Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Small penises have feelings too.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
