i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
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I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
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I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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