So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
