so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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