Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
