It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
