Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
