omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
