i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize