it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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