is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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