she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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