it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
