If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
