escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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