i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
