Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
