So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize