Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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