she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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