Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
