1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
