she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
