I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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