i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
