Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Couch. On fire.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
