I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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