lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
