Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
