Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
