Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
