I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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