hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
