I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
