That's intense
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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