ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
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At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
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so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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