i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize