When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
