This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
