so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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