Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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