I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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