with your own penis?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
