We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
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