im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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