If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
