State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
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I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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