How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
