she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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