white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
found the other keg... it's in the tree
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
