WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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