The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
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I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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