i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Still dying that you shit outside
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
