For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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