On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
