My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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