Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
