I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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