You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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