you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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