Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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