ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
