The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We left the knife in your bed.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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