I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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