Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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