Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
