i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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