whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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