Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
